Rissian Wedding Traditions: A Guide to Russian Wedding Customs

The Short Answer

“Rissian wedding traditions” is how many people search for Russian wedding customs — the words mean the same thing here, and this is a guide to how weddings actually work in Russia. A typical modern Russian wedding day includes: the vykup nevesty (a mock “ransom” of the bride), the legal ceremony at the ZAGS registry office, a photo tour of the city, a greeting with a karavai loaf and salt from the parents, and a banquet led by a tamada (master of ceremonies), punctuated by shouts of “Gorko!” Some couples also have an Orthodox church wedding, the venchanie.

Before the Wedding

Matchmaking: Svatovstvo

In traditional village life, marriages were arranged through svatovstvo (сватовство, sva-taf-STVO): the groom’s family sent matchmakers, svaty, to the bride’s parents. They spoke in ritual formulas — the best known is «У вас товар, у нас купец» (“you have the goods, we have the merchant”). If the families agreed, there followed a viewing of the bride’s household and dowry and a formal agreement sealed with a handshake. Today this survives mainly as a warm, sometimes playful meeting of both families after the proposal; the word сваты is still used for the parents-in-law of one’s child.

Registration and Timing

Couples apply to a ZAGS office (short for the civil status registry); by law the marriage is normally registered no sooner than a month after the application, although the period can be shortened for good reason. Popular dates fill quickly, and summer and early autumn are peak season. An old rhyme warns against May weddings — «В мае жениться — всю жизнь маяться» (“marry in May and you’ll toil all your life”), a pun on май and маяться — and some couples still avoid the month. For church weddings, Lent and certain other fast periods are excluded; the Sunday after Easter, Krasnaya Gorka, is a traditional favourite.

Devichnik and Malchishnik

The devichnik (девичник) was originally the bride’s farewell evening with her girlfriends, full of lament songs mourning the end of her maidenhood; her braid was ceremonially unplaited, because married women wore their hair differently and covered it. Today devichnik simply means a hen party, and its counterpart for the groom is the malchishnik (мальчишник).

The Wedding Morning: Vykup Nevesty

The most distinctive Russian custom is the vykup nevesty, the “bride ransom.” On the morning of the wedding, the groom arrives at the bride’s home (or hotel) with his friends and the best man, the svidetel’ (witness). The bridesmaids, led by the maid of honour (svidetel’nitsa), block the stairwell and the door, and the groom must earn his way to the bride.

• Quiz questions about the bride: her birthday, favourite food, where they first met.
• Tasks and games: guessing which lipstick print on a sheet of paper belongs to the bride, finding her among photos of baby girls, singing or dancing on the stairs.
• “Payment” for mistakes: coins, banknotes, chocolates or champagne for the bridesmaids.
• A final joke: a “fake bride” under a veil, sometimes a tall friend of the groom, before the real bride appears.

The vykup echoes the old idea that the groom “buys” the bride from her family, but today it is pure entertainment. Some couples skip it or keep it short.

The Ceremonies

The Civil Ceremony at ZAGS

Only a marriage registered by the state is legally valid in Russia. Many ZAGS offices have formal ceremony halls — Moscow and St Petersburg have well-known “wedding palaces” — where a registrar gives a short speech, the couple confirm their consent, sign the register and exchange rings, which Russians wear on the right hand. The couple then receive their marriage certificate, and guests greet them with flowers and champagne. Traditionally the witnesses also sign, though this is no longer legally required.

The Church Wedding: Venchanie

An Orthodox venchanie (венчание, “crowning”) is optional and is held after the civil registration. It begins with the betrothal and exchange of rings; then the priest places crowns (vency) on the couple’s heads — or the best man and a friend hold them above the couple’s heads — and the couple share a common cup of wine and are led three times around the lectern. The bride usually covers her hair. The service lasts roughly an hour, and guests stand.

Between Ceremony and Feast

After the ZAGS, the wedding party typically sets off in cars decorated with ribbons, flowers and rings on the roof for a photo tour of the city’s landmarks, parks and viewpoints. Many couples lay flowers at a war memorial or Eternal Flame — a custom dating from the Soviet period. Love locks engraved with the couple’s names are fixed to bridges or special metal “trees,” and the groom may carry the bride across a bridge for good luck.

Bread, Salt and the Karavai

When the newlyweds arrive at the banquet, their parents — traditionally the groom’s mother — greet them with a karavai, a large round decorated loaf, on an embroidered towel with a small dish of salt. Each spouse bites off a piece without using hands; a popular superstition says whoever bites off more will be the head of the family. The couple may also be showered with grain, rose petals, coins or sweets for prosperity. Find out more about the karavai in our guide to Russian bread.

The Banquet

The reception is a long, generous meal with many courses: salads such as Olivier and “herring under a fur coat,” cold cuts, fish, hot dishes, and plenty of toasts. The evening is steered by the tamada (тамада), a hired or volunteer host who announces toasts, runs games and keeps the energy up. The word itself comes from Georgian feast tradition.

“Gorko!”

At any moment a guest may shout «Горько!» (GOR’-ka, “bitter!”), and soon the whole room joins in. The newlyweds must stand and kiss while the guests count aloud — “раз, два, три…” — and the longer the kiss, the better. The usual explanation is that the wine has turned bitter and only the couple’s kiss can sweeten it. Toasts to the parents may bring “Gorko!” for them too.

Games, Cake and Other Customs

• Konkursy — party games and contests organised by the tamada.
• Stealing the bride or her shoe — friends “kidnap” the bride or a shoe, and the groom or best man pays a playful ransom.
• The family hearth — the mothers light a single candle from their own candles and hand it to the couple, a modern ritual symbolising a new household.
• Cake auction — the first slice of wedding cake is sometimes “sold” to the highest-bidding guest, with the money going to the couple.
• Bouquet and garter — borrowed from Western weddings but now very common.
• Gifts — money in envelopes is the most usual present, handed over with a toast.

The Second Day

Many families continue the celebration on a second day, often in a more relaxed setting — a dacha, a country house or a restaurant — with leftovers, more toasts and games. In older village tradition the second day included pranks and costumed guests, and the young wife showed her skills as a housekeeper; in some families the new son-in-law is invited for pancakes by his mother-in-law.

Traditional Dress and Music

Before the white dress became universal in the twentieth century, peasant brides wore their finest festive clothing — often red, because the old word красный meant both “red” and “beautiful.” See our article on Russian embroidery and traditional dress. Old village weddings were accompanied by ritual songs from start to finish; Stravinsky drew on this tradition for Les Noces (Svadebka, “The Wedding”), which you can read about in our piece on Russian folk music.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does “Gorko!” mean at a Russian wedding?

“Горько!” (GOR’-ka) means “bitter!” Guests shout it during the banquet, and the newlyweds must kiss to make the drink “sweet” again while everyone counts aloud how long the kiss lasts.

What is the bride ransom (vykup nevesty)?

Vykup nevesty (выкуп невесты, VY-kup nye-VYES-ty) is a playful custom on the wedding morning: the bridesmaids block the way to the bride and the groom and his friends must pass tests, answer questions about the bride and “pay” with money, sweets or champagne before they can collect her.

Is a church wedding legally valid in Russia?

No. Only a marriage registered at a civil registry office (ZAGS) is legally recognised. An Orthodox church wedding, the venchanie, is a religious ceremony that couples may add, usually after the civil registration.

On which hand do Russians wear wedding rings?

Following Orthodox tradition, most Russians wear their wedding rings on the ring finger of the right hand.